some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
