We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
