Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
