I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Randomize
