just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
