There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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