If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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