wanna go halves on a baby?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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