ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
