my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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