Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
