drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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