And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
