It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
