Buhtt sex?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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