I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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