She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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