Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize