My friends, they love my intelligence
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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