i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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