feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
