All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
