All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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