In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
