this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
