HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
