I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
