it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
