At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
