I faked an abortion last night.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
