Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
