Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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