Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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