just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
