we're blogging at a bar
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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