Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
