the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is my gift to your gina
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
