Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
