There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i believe in u and ur pee
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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