that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
