I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
