I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
