he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize