Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize