Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
