I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
