Do vagina's smell?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
