is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
