He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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