just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
