I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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