Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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