I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
