Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
